Solitude
by Angel of virtue
Summary: Songfic to evanescesnce - solitude. Kira watches over Setsuna and Sara. rated for sexual implications. SLASH! homophobes beware!


Solitude

Disclaimer: I do not own the song or angel sanctuary. . . So don't sue!

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How many times have you told me you love her? As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth.

Kira watched. He could see Setsuna, his Setsuna, looking at Sara with eyes that should have been for him. As long as Kira had known Setsuna, that look had been reserved for his sister, but Kira lived in hope that one day, it would be his.

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How long have I stood here beside you? I live through you, you look through me.

He was there for Setsuna, he couldn't remember how long he had taken to watching, protecting, he had always been there whenever Setsuna was in the most danger, but was never noticed. Now he thought about it, Kira had never received even a single word of thanks from all the times he had come to the rescue.

"It's better that way" the voice in his head spoke. "If he knew, he couldn't keep you going anymore"

Kira knew this was the truth, Setsuna could never find out his true feelings, nothing would ever be the same if he did. Kira knew he had to keep them quiet until death.

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Ooh, solitude, still with me is only you. Ooh solitude, I can't stay away from you.

Kira listened hard to the conversation going on below, imagining himself in it. Sara's face changed to his own as Setsuna kissed her passionately on the lips, a strange gentleness present at the same time. 

"I love you Kira" the world slipped away for a moment as he fell into his fantasy world, the world where it was only him and Setsuna, nothing else mattered there. He was brought sharply back into reality by a sudden slap across his face, it burned but that wasn't what caused the anger, he had been forced to leave the place which brought him so much happiness. His hand lashed out to punch the culprit, connecting hard with a girl's face.

"What do you think you're doing?" her face was contorted with a mixture of rage and pain, her nose a throbbing shade of red, she was grasping it with white hands. Even through this, Kira recognised her as the girl he had broken a date with the day before by leaving a message on her answer machine, though it was probably a little too late at the time, seeing Setsuna had been more important. 

"What was I doing? You were the one who slapped me." Kira shrugged and carried on looking over the bridge he was surveying Sara and Setsuna from, trying to look as uninterested as possible.

"Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you! Kira! You leave me standing out in the rain waiting for you, then punch me and don't even have the decency to look at me!" Kira looked. She was hot, amazingly attractive and being a red-blooded male, Kira had already begun to think of ways to get into her pants, but then there was Setsuna and suddenly all thoughts of anyone else disappeared. Kira knew he wasn't gay, he didn't even think he was bisexual, he just knew he wanted Setsuna.

"Go away." The girl flinched slightly, obviously hurt by his lack of empathy but worried about whether he might hurt her again. Thinking of the pain in her nose, she left without another word, just leaving an air of indignance around her. 

Kira knew he didn't need anyone else.

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How many times have I done this to myself? How long will it take before I see?

No-one else, but he didn't even have Setsuna. Kira knew very well that they would never be together, yet he could not give up hope, he could not give up his dream world. 

Down below, the siblings had gone beyond that first kiss, had gone further than they should, but Kira was there. In his mind, he was Sara, he was with the one person he truly loved. All these feelings he was experiencing were so new and they hurt as if a dagger had been plunged into his heart, with every time he saw Setsuna with his sister, the dagger was twisted, but there was no blood. Nothing to show for this pain but stalkerish tendencies and the deep gashes on his body, but they didn't count, they weren't real because nothing on the earth was real unless Setsuna noticed them. Nothing could survive without his knowledge.

When will this hole in my heart be mended? Who now is left alone but me?

The dagger was again plunged further when he saw their bodies moving in unison, love in their every movement, love that should have been for Kira. Everyone had someone or so it seemed, but the only person Kira wanted wasn't attainable. The drop below the bridge was beginning to look very inviting, but the thing that kept Kira from throwing himself from it was Setsuna and seeing him again.

"I love you" Sara's voice shook and the words were full of astounding truth, yet Kira couldn't begin to believe she could love Setsuna as much as he did. No-one could ever feel as strong.

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Ooh, solitude, forever me and forever you. Ooh, solitude, only you only true.

"Kira, how could I ever have lived without you?" Kira sighed, knowing these words weren't for him but taking joy in them all the same, feeling overwhelmed with a pleasure that wasn't his.

"I'll love you forever" Kira whispered back. Forever and ever and ever and ever. . . 

Never. If he couldn't be with Setsuna, then no-one would. He drew his eyes from his love and ran towards him, tears welling up inside him, finally bursting free.

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Your secret admirer, who could it be?

Kira ran through anyone in his path, he had a mission, Setsuna would finally know his feelings. . . Finally. 

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Ooh, can't you see all along it was me? How can you be so blind as to see right through me?

He was there, but the two were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't notice, the world had disappeared for them, soon it would disappear forever. Kira grabbed a knife out of the inside pocket of his long, black coat, dropping the picture he kept there always, a picture of Setsuna, close to his heart. 

Walking over to the merging bodies, he held the knife aloft for a moment, sighing deeply. Without another thought, he plunged it into Setsuna's back. Setsuna groaned loudly and fell onto Sara completely, Kira pushed him off and went to be by his side. Sara looked up and saw her brother on the floor, struggling to breath, then looked to Kira, wide eyed Shock clearly visible on her face. 

"GO!" Kira shouted at her. She took a moment to think about it, then quickly stood and pulled her skirt back down, running without glancing back.

"See, she didn't love you, not like me." Kira said to Setsuna, smiling through his tears.

"Sa - Sara?" Setsuna's eyes opened slightly but quickly closed again through lack of strength 

"Shh." Kira stopped his love from talking by covering Setsuna's mouth with his own, Setsuna attempted to reciprocate but without much luck, then his breath stopped, it was no longer warm on Kira's face. Tears fell on to Setsuna as Kira planted one last kiss on his dead lips.

"I love you" at least he could know in death. Grabbing the discarded knife, Kira began to hear police cars. He wondered how they would react to the fact that Setsuna and Sara were brother and sister, then realised he didn't really care. He held the knife towards himself and thrust it hard into his heart, this time it was real. He fell onto Setsuna's unmoving chest and breathed his last breath before the world turned to darkness forever.

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Ooh, solitude, still with me is only you. Ooh, solitude, I can't stay away from you . . . 


End file.
